Heart of Stitched Gold

I'll sit with patience

And stitch this heart by hand, again.
The scars make it tough to tie it tightly enough
But it only opens up every now and then.
These micro-tears, like microcosms,
Keep us hopeless romantics dreaming
When we should all just hope less
It's hopeless, breaking down our self esteem and...
Repetitively trying to use glitter and gold
To stitch our hearts together.
Waiting one day for the stitch to decay
But our hearts are just turning to leather.
There are still some parts, that are silk and satin
And it hurts when you drive the thread through
But that pain isn't sharp, it's cold and it's dark
Like the dull ache of an aging bruise. 
My heart, once pretty- now tattered and torn
Is looking rather disfigured and damaged 
I stop sometimes to ponder and think
Of all the times I've come through and managed. 
Maybe gold was a good pick over tin, over lead- 
Because at least it's worth the while
And it shimmers and shines when I can't seem to find
Any other reason to smile.

To Love Her

To love her, is to let her dance in the dirt

And breathe the sweet air, as her hair

Falls over her shoulders- and hold her, metaphorically

Fold her wings like paper planes to aid her fly-

Not in half to leave her die

As would a butterfly should you steal its beauty.

To love her, is to let her soak in the sunlight

And watch her skin turn golden, and holding

Her hand- not to demand she stays, rhetorically

In your ways, you ask to lift her and let her rise-

Not hold her back for rash demise

As would a shy child should you reproach her unduly.

To love her, is to watch her wish with her eyes closed

And dip her toes in the water, a daughter-

She is loved- and above, her father, historically

Taught her she is enough and you-

You cannot control her views

As would an owner own her, cruelly.

To love her, you have kissed her

Heart and not her lips.

To love her, you have grazed her

Mind and not her hips.

To love her you have simply loved

And for that she loves you incredibly.

Recreation

The thought to throw my head back like a child,
And smile-- baring teeth because laughter escapes;
To appreciate the little things that some day--one day
Had made me happy, dissipates

Dissolved in the moment ahead,
That does not exist quite yet.

To grasp in my hands what I have received
And hold it close to my heart,
To want nothing more than the now;
A thought that falls apart

Dissolved in the moment ahead,
That does not exist quite yet.

To be young and understand that the little things
Are the big picture, and the big things cannot be graded
Or judged, or ranked, or marked.
To let the definite lines of life be faded

Dissolves in the moment ahead,
That does not exist quite yet.

Until this moment recreates itself.
And in this moment- I recreate myself.

When Will You Be Happy?

She asked, "When will you be happy?"

When I have traveled across the land,
To feel new materials across my chest,
Across the oceans to taste new flavours
Until I find the best of best.

She asked, "Then will you be happy?"

When I find somewhere far away.
Where the air is fresh and clear.
Where the sun bathes my skin 
And the water is bluer than here.

She asked, "And then you will be happy?"

Once I have found the love of my life-
And settle near the perfect city.
Once I have my own little one to hold
My eyes, her nose- so pretty. 

She asked,"But then what?"

But then I will be content
When I find work that makes some penny
And I can support my family
And more, I hope that there is plenty...

Enough to be able to get away
From the ordinary everyday.

"Because you're not yet happy? 

Will you not get tired and old 
From chasing happiness forever?"

The Pleasure of Friction

The chemical matter of my mind

Substance- that is non-existent to you.

Frequent firing and wiring of my wording

Is realized, materialized, upon those who

Open their ears and with patience

Let the streams of my voice sink in-

To the sockets of their own eyes

Their firing, their wiring, their insides.

Let my past and, perhaps, pain

Be painted and re-played

So you, too, can be part of the picture

And visualize how I display

My material that is not matter

But my voice, which I hope to you- matters.

Show me you want to feel the weight

Of my internal structures against you-

The friction between your inherent beliefs-

Against the arguments you close the blinds to,

Because I am convinced, as much as you are,

That I am just as justified.

And I, too, in fair turns take in your articulations-

Speculations, because I want to see you

Inside-out. Understand you upside-down.

I want to feel your imagination press against

The walls of my resistance and persistence

That my experience defines as truth.

I want to see the colours of two opposing opinions mesh

And hold back my defense that denies opportunity.

Let two worlds strip completely to the skin

And embrace what is offered by an honest unity

That takes us both over the edge.

I’ll let you in when you let me speak.

I Guess Things Change

I thought I had found the love of my life

Way back in kindergarten

I was five when I arrived.

He caught my eye- and stole my heart, an’

I said to myself, “I’m going to marry

That boy- I’ll marry him one day.”

But I was young, and he was too.

We both grew up and went our way

I guess things change.

I told my mom and dad,

“Someday I’ll be a rockstar-lawyer-writer.”

I was small, but my crystal ball said,

I’d be taller, smarter, wiser.

Years passed by, time went on,

But my height refused to follow

I learnt to shut off creativity

And to keep my dreams so hollow.

I guess things change.

I worked so hard in high school

I saved up a lot of money

Thinking I’d be rich someday

Looking back, it’s kind of funny.

I had more cash when I was twelve years old

Now I’m clinging on to nickels

I have to budget all my monthly bills

To buy a jar of pickles.

I guess things change.

I went to university, 

Thinking I'd pay such good attention.

I would listen to my professors speak

And have one hundred percent retention.

But the desktops, like magnets to my cheek

Kept putting me to sleep

I aced my tests, but I confess

All that “knowledge” -I didn’t keep.

I guess things change.

I thought my dad would always be the man

To make me smile, whenever.

He’d grow old, but strong- he’d live so long

And be here with me forever.

He’d walk me down

The isle someday,

Help build my home

Watch my kids play.

I guess things change.

I thought I’d be just fine as friends

I didn’t want to love quite yet

I’d wait until I was old enough

With a career and my mind all set.

But some boy took me by surprise

And swept me off my feet.

I swore I wouldn’t fall in love,

But I can’t help but feel complete.

I guess things change.

I couldn’t tell you what comes next because

As much as I think I know,

We can’t connect the dots until they’re drawn

Every challenge makes us grow.

Fall seven times, but stand up eight

You’ll be ok tomorrow

Be happy now, but if you make plans

Just know the future’s not ours to borrow.

I guess things change.